“I am a wife and a cook” – Keeping the Devil out of your marriage, by Nonnie Roberson

I am liberated, lived in the western world for over 3 decades, full time clergy, own and run multi national corporations. I cook for my family. I am heading down to the states, as soon as I hit the ground, I am cooking Egusi soup. I have cooks, gourmet cooks, I am still the chief cook. Nothing beats the satisfaction of watching your family ravage your food and asking for more.

What’s the craze about “I am a wife not a cook…I have always known the Devil is after marriages, this is the height of it.

By Nonnie Roberson

I have a set of twins, a boy and a girl. They are 7 years old. I am very gender sensitive, meaning, the little chores they do, I share it equally. Dabbie my daughter naturally plays with doll babies, plaits their hairs, plays house by cooking for her dolls and feeding them and tender with her babies….I didn’t teach her this, they are the last born, so she never saw me doing this…

Jeozie my son, plays with trucks, Rocks, cars, stones, balls, roughly. …while Dabbie pampers and even backs her dolls. I remembered growing up, having two boys directly under me….I played house, cooked with sand, mud ,water and empty cans. My brothers played balls, and other rough games.

Taking care of the home is naturally wired into the core of the fiber of womanhood. Female Animals, do same, I Remember the mother hen. Are animals getting more sensible than us. Any woman saying she will not cook for her husband needs psychiatric evaluation, cooking, taking care of the home are natural instincts wired into the fiber and DNA of a woman. Being the breadwinner should not stop you from cooking. Agreed the man should help out with house chores, if he naturally loves cooking, there’s nothing wrong with him cooking, nothing wrong with him serving you breakfast in bed, at his will, not as a command or demand from you. I have been served breakfast in bed and have served breakfast in bed.

“Taking care of the home is naturally wired into the core of the fiber of womanhood.”

Marriage should be give and take. No set rules as each marriage is unique to those in the union. Whatever works for the peaceful harmony of the union. What works Angela will definitely not work for Stella. We are all unique beings. Identify the rhythm of your marriage and flow with it

Female breast feeds, nurtures. Please I beg every married woman not to listen to this crap and deceit from the pit of hell. Don’t call me or any sister for prayers after you foolishly push your husband away into the hands of another woman that is a natural woman, with this nonsense I am a wife, I am not a cook. #Inukwa Biko.

I am liberated, lived in the western world for over 3 decades, full time clergy, own and run multi national corporations. I cook for my family. I am heading down to the states, as soon as I hit the ground, I am cooking Egusi soup. I have cooks, gourmet cooks, I am still the chief cook. Nothing beats the satisfaction of watching your family ravage your food and asking for more.

♦ Nonnie Roberson is the National President at Women In Clergy and the Publisher, lipstick and Tie magazine.

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Please Save Me from “Mutual Polygamy”

My Dear Nellie,

“My name is Anne. I have been married for 18 years. I am a banker and my Husband is a businessman. We are blessed with two wonderful children. My son is 10 years old, while my daughter is 13. They are both doing well in school. “About 6 weeks ago my husband, Fred, confirmed to me that he has a “wife material” he is in love with.

They met on 3rd Mainland Bridge (Lagos, Nigeria) on his from work when he assisted a ‘lonely lady’ who had a flat tyre about 18 months ago. As a matter of fact, I recollect that he came home usually late that day.

He did explain how he played the ‘Good Samaritan’ to a ‘distressed lady’. Little did I know that that chance meeting and the Good Samaritan role would impact our marriage negatively….He now wants “Mutual Polygamy” as he coined the concept of accepting his mistress as his wife and living together “in holy matrimony”… Really Weird!!!

Fred, my husband, wants me to accept Gloria (that is her name) as a part of OUR life – as he has pledged his ‘undying love’ to her. He says he loves us equally! I really do not know where “Mutual Polygamy” came from – maybe it was created to address the crisis that best describes our marriage. According to Fred, he loves me and cannot give me up; nor would he give up his relationship with this “Angel of my Dream”.

Fred constantly praises her work, intelligence, sound business judgment – even celebrates Gloria’s major business breakthroughs at home. However, Fred has never allowed the relationship with Gloria to come between us – nor affect the children in any way.  They are still ignorant that Daddy has a bride in waiting …What a world! He begged me “not to tell the children yet”.

My husband has remained very attentive – even more caring since he revealed his ‘mutual polygamy plan’ to me. For me, these last 6 weeks have been filled with emotional stress and trauma. However, Fred carries on without any cares – as if all is well…I begin to wish he never told me this ‘earthshaking’ information.

Oh God, why did we covenant not to keep secrets on our wedding night – no matter how bad? I wish to God that Fred just continued with his affairs outside secretly…

Last week, I went to see his eldest sister for advice. Auntie Christy (she is 56 years old) was very calm and understanding. She confirmed that Fred told her about Gloria, but she advised her brother to quit the relationship. However, when she saw Fred’s firm resolve, she told him I deserved to know if he is determined to get another wife.

Traditionally, my consent would be required for Fred to get another wife ‘officially’. Aunty Christy submitted that she could not advise me because she loves Fred and I equally. She would not want to be in the middle of this ‘messy conflict’.

Auntie Jane, Christy’s friend, asked me what I really wanted. She said: “Anne, mutual polygamy means you will accept Gloria as your husband’s wife and be willing to progress marital rites with your husband. You will consent that you both live happily as mature adults (like our mothers loved and shared the love of one man in ancient times). The other choice is to allow Fred to marry Gloria and seek divorce. Young lady, these are hard choices to make…You need to retreat and seek help or professional counsel.”

I love my family. My husband and I practically grew up together. I have known my husband all my life; he was and is still the only man I have ever known. Above all, I still love Fred. I cannot live without him and cannot live with this concept of mutual polygamy…I feel like taking my life now, but for my children.

Please help me.  Sincerely yours, ANNE

___________________________________________

My dearest Anne,

I wish to reiterate all we discussed on above subject to ensure clarity and alignment.

 One of the things that easily beset us is taking decisions during a period of emotional stress. First thing we aligned on is that “No one is so important as to make you end your life. You can only destroy what you can create.” Since your life is sacred and living is not entirely dependent on Fred, it would be most foolish to end your life under the circumstances. Your children will be forever stigmatized by that action… So, perish that thought!!!

“Mutual Polygamy” is not really a strange concept as Auntie Christy pointed out. However, under the umbrella of a Holy Matrimony in which Fred vowed to keep to only you, mutual polygamy is a juxtaposition of his vow/covenant.

Your Aunties (Christy and Jane) are wise women. Only you can decide how to proceed under this strange arrangement. However, these questions are pertinent:

    • Do you love Fred UNCONDITIONALLY to the degree of sharing him    
      • with Gloria to make him happy?
  • Would you be willing to explain the strange arrangement to your children? Children are smarter than we give them credit. They surely have mentally noted their father’s behaviour and are waiting for the right time to ask ‘uncomfortable’ questions.
  • Do you honestly think you can sacrifice your emotions and love on the ‘altar’ of pleasing a man who clearly told you Gloria, his mistress is a “wife material” and “angel of my dreams”? This means you are clearly not a ‘wife material’ – by his calculations?

f your answers are YES to these questions, then please go ahead and ENDURE A MARRIAGE OF MUTUAL POLYGAMY – approved by your good self.

Furthermore, it is important to spend time on INTROSPECTION – a period of SELF-SEARCH. My rational questions to you are:

  • Do you think you have contributed overtly or inadvertently to Fred’s ‘strange’ behavior?
  • Have you honestly been a good and attentive wife?
  • Is your sex life active and healthy? How good is your sex life, really?
  • Do you have a strong bond and friendship that breaks all barriers?
  • Do you spend sufficient time together as a couple?
  • After 18 years of marriage, do you still spark and ignite emotionally without restraint?
  • Are your emotions on lose ends when both of you are alone watching his favourite program?

Note that Fred submitted that Gloria is ingenious with business ideas. Quick question: Do you find time to discuss his business or take interest in his struggles? The truth is that men emotionally gravitate to anyone who can fill an emotional and rational void. Fred had been in need of someone who understands his daily struggles as a businessman in an environment that is economically depressed – thus, easily fell for a self-assured, defiant and economically independent woman, who also understands the challenges of being an entrepreneur.

 As a Banker, you ought to have understood his challenges much deeply, but Gloria came to fill that ‘void’ created by you. Sadly, that is the plain, uncoated truth – without sentiments…

 I know your heart is broken and you are devastated; however, I need you to understand that Fred is being conflicted and considerate at the same time. I know what it means to be in this kind of emotional mess. I know your heart is torn to shreds and you feel very betrayed by the one and only man you have known all your life… My dearest Anne, only YOU can determine the next steps you need to take.

 My immediate advise is: Take time off on a Personal Retreat. Pool all the issues in a box and work it out alone with God. Only He can give you the Divine Wisdom and Strength to make the right decision.

 Dear Anne, please accept what has happened and make life-changing decisions – to either accept MUTUAL POLYGAMY or MUTUAL DIVORCEMENT.

 God bless you. Yours Emotionally’, Nellie Onwuchekwa

Send your QUESTIONS and CONCERNS to NELLIE directly, click >>>

______________________________________

 

Serena Williams Showcases Her Engagement Ring in Reddit Post with Fiancé Alexis Ohanian

Trump supporter, man he punched hug it out in court

John Franklin McGraw, left, and Rakeem Jones hug in a Cumberland County courtroom on Wednesday in North Carolina. (Photo: AP)
John Franklin McGraw, left, and Rakeem Jones hug in a Cumberland County courtroom on Wednesday in North Carolina. (Photo: AP)

A supporter of President-elect Donald Trump came face-to-face with the protester he sucker-punched at a raucous rally in Fayetteville, N.C., in March.

John Franklin McGraw, 79, of Linden, N.C., spoke to Rakeem Jones in a Cumberland County courtroom on Wednesday and vowed to help mend the deeply divided nation.

“You know what you did, and I know what I did. I’m not going to say you were wrong or I’m wrong,” McGraw told Jones, according to local CNN affiliate WRAL.

He continued: “I hate it worse than anything in the world. If I met you in the street and the same thing occurred, I would have said, ‘Go on home. One of us will get hurt.’ That’s what I would have said. But we are caught up in a political mess today, and you and me, we got to heal our country.”

McCraw pleaded “no contest” to all charges: assault and battery, disorderly conduct and communicating a threat, according to local ABC affiliate WTVD. He received a 30-day suspended sentence and 12 months of unsupervised probation. He was also ordered to pay $180 in court costs and a $250 fine.

Afterward, outside the courtroom, Jones told reporters, “I just felt good being able to shake his hand and being able to, you know, being able to actually face him.”

Both men became inextricably linked in the national conversation about violence at Trump’s presidential campaign rallies after their encounter on March 9. Uniformed security officers were escorting Jones, who was flipping the finger to the booing crowd, out of Crown Coliseum when McGraw punched him in the face. The officers wrestled Jones to the ground but did nothing to detain his assailant, who returned to his seat.

McGraw then told “Inside Edition” that he enjoyed “knocking [the] hell out of that big mouth.” He falsely speculated without any evidence that Jones might be affiliated with the Islamic State terrorist group and perhaps should be killed.

“We don’t know if he’s ISIS. We don’t know who he is, but we know he’s not acting like an American,” he said. “Yes, he deserved it. The next time we see him, we might have to kill him.”

When video footage of the incident went viral, viewers were equally aghast at the attack and at the response from security. The Cumberland County Sheriff’s Office subsequently disciplined the five sheriff’s deputies involved.

“The actions of the deputies and their failures to act in situations such as that which occurred during the Trump rally at the Crown Coliseum have never been and will not ever be tolerated under the policies of this office,” Cumberland County Sheriff Earl “Moose” Butler said in a statement at the time.

The road to forgiveness between McGraw and Jones took a giant leap forward last month when they spoke for the first time via webcam on Panacea Open Courtroom.

On Wednesday, Jones told WTVD outside the courtroom that their moment of reconciliation was genuine and that it would have occurred even if both men met in private.

“I didn’t do it for a clap to be honest. I would have did it had it just been him and me standing there by ourselves,” Jones said. “It was just a real moment. I guess everyone seen it, and it wasn’t for them. It was for us.”

Man Marries Fiancée Hours Before He Dies of Cancer

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When a chaplain at Baptist St. Anthony’s Hospital in Amarillo, Texas, asked Raul “Tiny” Hinojosa, 33, what he wanted his final wish to be, Hinojosa told him he “wanted to marry her. The hospital staff arranged the wedding for the couple hours before Hinojosa died. Hinojosa proposed to Lamas years before he was diagnosed with chronic lymphocytic leukemia.

The Obamas reportedly moving to California

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The Obamas are reportedly moving to California. Despite renting this family home in Washington DC from January, they are said to have purchased a new house in Rancho Mirage, a city located just outside Palm Springs in California, according to The New York Post.

Rancho Mirage is home to the presidential getaway Sunnylands – said to be the West Coast version of Camp David – meaning that family have probably visited plenty of times and that’s why they have decided to settle there.

Although they have already purchased the property, they won’t be moving any time soon. The family plans to stay in Washington DC until Sasha graduates from high school.

It has also been reported that they have bought a holiday home in Obama’s childhood state of Hawaii.

How Lagos designers invaded our closets

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(CNN). We are always being told that West Africa is a coming thing in fashion. In the same way that people fell over themselves a decade ago trying to tell anyone who would listen that China was going to be the coming place for art. So, for the last few years we’ve been inundated with opinion pieces saying that in terms of style, Nigeria is about to go global.

Having just returned from the GT Bank Fashion Weekend I would say that they might actually be right. Held last weekend on Victoria Island in Lagos, the event was positioned as a way to encourage local businesses, helping them amplify their brands in the process.
Unusually, it was also a B2C event, targeting consumers rather than retailers or wholesalers. I gave one of the masterclasses on Sunday afternoon, and the level of feedback and interaction was more than impressive.
Often when I speak at similar events — especially business schools — the levels of engagement can be disappointing, but I immediately sensed that the people in the audience had actually come for practical business advice, and all had pertinent questions relating to their industries.
But it was the brands themselves that impressed me most, as well as the fact that a lot of the brands were aiming at the men’s market, with a strong emphasis on tailoring.
As the chairman of London Collections Men (which has now been rebranded Fashion Week Men’s) I have already seen various Nigerian designers who have decided to show at London Fashion Week (the best of which I have to say is Orange Culture), but it was great to see so many young designers with a genuine sense of flair and originality.
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Fusion of sensibilities

Lagos is certainly no backwater in terms of upmarket consumer culture, and you only have to visit Alara, the extraordinary multi-brand store founded by Reni Folawiyo and designed by superstar architect David Adjaye to see that at its best, luxury lifestyle in Lagos is as sophisticated as it is in London, New York or Los Angeles.
Alara stocks both Western brands and pan-African designs, and is a reflection of the way in which there has recently been a genuine fusion of African and European design sensibilities.
This fusion could be seen at the Fashion Weekend, as you had fashion shows from the likes of British designer Julien Macdonald, as well as from local designers such as David Tlale and Taibo Bacar.
I talked to Julien the day before his show, and he was blown away by the enormity of the project, and by the local team’s attention to detail. “It’s one of the biggest shows I’ve ever done,” he said, before rushing off to another rehearsal.
Obviously Lagos has a long-standing history of fine men’s tailoring, and this was in evidence throughout the weekend, not just on the catwalk and on the rails of the exhibitors, but also on the backs of the sharply dressed men who turned up to take selfies with each other. Most of the men I met were in related industries, and nearly all of them had bought their clothes locally.
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Sartorial rat packs?

So while they may have looked as though they had spent inordinate amounts of time shopping in independent retailers in Williamsburg, Shoreditch, or Berlin, most items appeared to have originated (designed and produced) in Lagos.
The styles themselves were largely a rather smart mix of the traditional and the contemporary, where for instance you would see a sharply cut two-piece suit (one you might see sported by the likes of Tinie Tempah, Kanye West or Justin Tiumberlake), but made from vibrant local fabrics. This was Savile Row tailoring with a twist, bespoke suits seen through the filter of modern Africa. Many of the suits also celebrated the mythic sartorial inventions of the Rat Pack.

Global impact, via Instagram

I was asked repeatedly how small tailoring businesses in the area could attract more attention, given that hardly any of them have marketing or publicity budgets; and my answers were based around social media.
Given the way in which Instagram has taken over the world, and the way in which it has now got serious traction in the fashion, art and design micro-climates, it would be foolish not to use it as a marketing tool.
Judging by the number of photographs taken over the weekend, and the thousands of pictures posted online, this is an opportunity that is already being exploited.
In the West we still have a rather imperialistic view of the luxury goods industry, looking at every emerging market as a way of refreshing weak domestic sales. However, it is these very same emerging markets where a lot of the creativity and ingenuity is emerging from, and we should be more mindful of this.
♦ Dylan Jones is editor-in-chief of British GQ and the chairman of London Fashion Week Men’s. The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of the author.

A New Yorker in Nigeria: One Vogue.com Editor’s Impressions of Lagos Fashion and Design Week

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Maki Oh Spring 2017

by  (Vogue)

♦ On the Friday evening of Lagos Fashion and Design Week, there was much talk of how one was going to make it from the Federal Palace Hotel grounds—where LDFW’s four-day fashion and retail event was staging over 50 runway shows—to the David Adjaye–designed concept store Alara in time for designer Maki Osakwe’s Maki Oh Spring 2017 presentation. The city’s nonstop traffic was a concern, but the crowd was eager to see what Nigeria’s most successful fashion export, whose fans that include Michelle Obama, Lupita Nyong’o, and Beyoncé, was up to for next season. This reporter arrived just in time to see the Maki Oh models traipse down the store’s stone steps in red off-the-shoulder jumpsuits, purple and coral frocks, a tangerine blouse trimmed with black fringe, and silk skirts printed with “Oh Oh Oh.” Who needs front row seats with fashion this colorful?

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Statement Womenswear (From Left) Bridget Awosika Spring 2017, Tsemaye Binitie Spring 2017, Lisa Folawiyo Spring 2017
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Experimental Textiles: (Left and Center) Loza Maléombho Spring 2017 and Lanre Da Silva Ajayi
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Unisex As Menswear: (From Left) Kenneth Ize Spring 2017, Naked Ape Spring 2017, Orange Culture Spring 2017
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Experimental Textiles: (From Left) Nkwo Spring 2017, Naked Ape Spring 2017, MaXhosa by Laduma

The University of Bournemouth graduate has developed a strong identity in the six years she’s been designing, with signatures that have begun to rub off on her contemporaries. Ruffled trimmed skirts, frill-edged blousons, and hatch-mark prints à la Maki Oh were sprinkled throughout the Lagos collections. This isn’t to suggest that Osakwe’s fellow designers lack points of view of their own, though. Hardly. Tsemaye Binitie’s graphic printed midi-length frocks and paillette mesh skirts are made with his muse and sister, Temikawo, in mind. Lisa Folawiyo delivered a swath of options for Nigerian It girls, doubling down on her trademark combination of reimagined African prints and modern, sculptural silhouettes. And Bridget Awosika’s return to the Nigerian fashion scene after a year hiatus was a triumphant one.

On the menswear front, Orange Culture’s Adebayo Oke-Lawal spun an edgy tale of schoolboy chic, showing natty and colorful short suits; Kenneth Ize’s oversize and conceptual pinstriped suiting was fit for both men and women; and Naked Ape’s swaddling details and heavy layering restylized the traditional caftan and fila for the modern Naija man. At Johnson Johnson, after the designer Johnson Iyaye Rotimi and his cast of male models returned to the runway for a final bow with roses in hand, Rotimi got down on one knee to propose to his shocked girlfriend. Considering the robust wedding market the country boasts, the moment immediately went viral.

That streak of spontaneity resurfaced in the use of unexpected textiles. Despite West Africa’s scorching heat, Naked Ape made a case for leather pants, and Lanre Da Silva Ajayi proposed velvet cocktail dresses. Nkwo’s experimental approach to denim was a dazzling moment—with the psychologist turned designer fashioning shredded denim skirts and vests for both women and men. Equally impressive were the bra tops and matching shorts made from Xhosa-inspired knitwear by South Africa’s MaXhosa by Laduma. This fabric innovation speaks not only to the full-on commitment I noticed chic Nigerians give to their looks, but also to the industry’s intention to attract global customers. Textile behemoth Vlisco’s collaborative line, which featured designs from Loza Maléombho, Lanre Da Silva Ajayi, and Elie Kuame, paid homage to the wax prints and Ankara fabrics that are bedrocks of African fashion, while pointing toward the industry’s modern evolution.

Houston’s AMEN TV Ch.15.2 rolls out last quarter program lineup

News, Issues, and Views with I. Ishola Balogun_now airs Monday-Friday @7pm & Saturday @11am. It is an up-to-date news program covering current events and issues about Africa and America.
News, Issues, and Views with I. Ishola Balogun now airs Monday-Friday @7pm & Saturday @11am. It is an up-to-date news program covering current events and issues about Africa and America.

International Guardian, Houston, TX.  – AMEN TV Ch.15.2 has announced a program lineup for the last quarter of the year – incorporating a variety of interests to suit the holiday period. AMEN TV Ch.15.2 which known as the official television station of Houston’s International Community is a subsidiary of  AMEN NETWORK –  a multimedia company that focuses on the development, production, and promotion of all things Africa.

The station focuses primarily on improving access to quality African media of all genres in music, movies, news comedy, sports, and theater. According to the President and Director of the network, Chief I. Ishola Balogun, “We basically feature any form of entertainment created either in Africa or by Africans or about Africans of for Africans and or featuring Africans and we  aim to develop quality media programs at par or better than anything currently out there.”

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The station has also enhanced its news and current affairs programs to cover a wide range of topical issues of Africa and America. For instance, News, Issues, and Views with I. Ishola Balogun now airs Monday-Friday @7pm & Saturday @11am. It is an up-to-date news program covering current events and issues about Africa and America.

“High Rollers” show every week day @6:30pm. This is a story that revolves around three brothers divided by a love for money, family and God. It is an inter-generational family saga that plays out in the high stakes world of casino’s tables, church aisles and behind bedroom doors, pitting against each other three of the pillars of South Africa – family, money and religion.

A.M.E.N TV 15.2 is a digital channel on the Houston dial and is available in every household in the greater Houston area and surroundings – reaching an astounding 1.9 million households, with 5.3 million potential viewership. Chief Balogun said that the station is currently expanding its news studio and auditorium to accommodate more live shows and audience. “In about a month or two we shall be done with this renovation,“ he said.

For more information about events at the AMEN, please call 832.297.1396 or email; info@africanmoviesentertainmentnews.com

Spectacular photo gallery – 4th Annual Houston AfriFEST

Photos taken on Saturday, October 8th, 2016 at 4th annual Houston AfriFEST – a festival of African arts, culture, and entertainment hosted by the Nigerian-American Multicultural Council (NAMC) and the African Student Association at the Houston Baptist University on Fondren Rd. (Photos/International Guardian).

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